Families serve as important units in society. Within the church and within nations, families are often pillars of support that play valuable roles in the body of Christ and contribute to nation building. Singapore recognises this as well, having established a Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) to “nurture resilient individuals, strong families, and a caring society.”
MSF also states that “At the national level, they (families) contribute to social stability and national cohesiveness as they help develop socially responsible individuals”. Studies have shown how cases of dysfunctional families can lead to psychological distress in children who come from such families. It could be due to environments of conflict, misbehaviour, child neglect or abuse, or other forms of disordered upbringing.
In God’s plan for mankind, He designed the institution of family as a starting point when He “created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Gen 1:27). In a subsequent passage within the same book, it mentions how new families continue to be formed – “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Gen 2:24)
The apostle Paul often referred to family relationships as well, and how they were important in being able to live according to God’s will and commandments. Some principles on upbringing of children and children’s duties within a family were also stated. In Ephesians 6:1-4, it was written: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Applying such Biblical principles to family relationships can help foster strong family units that respect God and one another, and hopefully minimise the potential distresses which often manifest in dysfunctional families.
The importance of the family unit is also underlined when considering qualifications of overseers of the church. The Bible states that they must have certain qualities – for instance, a bishop must be “one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;” (1 Tim 3:4). The rationale is that if a man does not know how to lead his own household, how would he be able to take care of the church of God? 1 Tim 3:12 also reads “Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.”
This speaks volumes of the importance of the institution of family in God’s plan for mankind and growth of the Church of Christ. When children are born into this world, they first learn about things like love, care, consequences and discipline through their parents. A family provides a safe place where children can experience God’s love through their parents and also learn how to love others. Christ Himself, who was God in the flesh, submitted to an earthly father and mother. He honoured them and benefited from their loving guidance as He matured.
Even as Jesus was dying on the cross, one of His last acts was to ensure that His earthly mother would be taken care of by the disciple John when He knew His own death was imminent. In John 19:26-27, it is written: “When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom He loved, He saith unto His mother, Woman, behold thy Son! Then saith He to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.”
We should all strive to demonstrate this kind of deep love for our own families, as Christ set the example. In doing so, we can strengthen the family units which will in turn contribute to the growth of the church and the resilience of society. God’s love is often most closely experienced through our earthly families, thus we should treasure them and do our utmost best to treat them according to the precepts and principles laid out in the Bible.