For many years of my life as a working mother of 3 children, I was blessed with help from my late mother-in-law and a live-in domestic helper. My late mum-in-law did almost all of the cooking. A domestic helper assisted her with food preparation where needed and did the other household chores. I enjoyed home-cooked food and a clean house for many years without much personal effort.
When my mother-in-law passed away in 2013, I continued to rely on a domestic helper to do the washing, cleaning and cooking. On Sundays when the helper was not working, I would help my sister-in-law while she did the cooking.
Things changed when l stopped working and took on the role of a full-time housewife in 2019 without a domestic helper.
I quickly realised that being a housewife is hard work – not just physically but also emotionally and most importantly, spiritually.
Soon, I began to gain a set of ABCs in my new life.
A - Anger
I would be busy with housework and cooking every day, including weekends. There never seemed to be a day where I was free from housework or cooking.
My untrained fingers tore and bled from the unending washing and cleaning. My hands hurt from my unwieldy knife skills. My skin collected marks, blisters and pus. My legs either ached from standing during cooking and washing or squatting for cleaning and scrubbing. The list of miseries did not seem to end.
Still, the cleaning, washing and cooking continued. I was angry.
No one seemed to notice my workload or my feelings. I was angry with comments and remarks about my cooking or lack of cooking or how much or how little I cooked. I was angry most of the time in my head, and it showed in my appearance, my words and my actions.
C - Cussing
I would be muttering angrily under my breath while washing vegetables, preparing meals or doing housework. While I was not throwing curses at my loved ones, my thoughts would be filled with anger and negative self-talk. I would be uttering angry or sarcastic comments at them or saying them in my mind.
B – Bitterness
I found myself using harsh tones and rude retorts in my exchanges with my children and husband. I was unkind in my words and actions. I knew I had to fulfill my responsibilities as a housewife, mother and wife but I felt very unhappy, unappreciated and taken for granted. I was harbouring anger towards my loved ones. Bitterness was a step away.
However, I’m thankful to God for His patience and love towards me during this period of my life. He helped me to see the error of my ways and how I had fallen into Satan’s temptation to sin against God.
I learned to re-learn the ABCs of my new life.
A-Affirmation
I remember the words of Colossians 3:23 “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men”. This verse reminds me that the real “A’ in my life is “Affirmation” from God. So, I pray very hard each day to be affirmed by God in how I carry out my responsibilities. I seek to do my chores “heartily” (wholeheartedly, from the heart) as though I am serving God so as to be found pleasing in Him.
B – Blessings
Secondly, I remember the words of Colossians 3:17 “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by Him”. This verse reminds me to be thankful to God for the blessings which I have. Indeed, I have the blessings of my family and my being in good health to serve in the capacity of a housewife, mother and wife. Thus, I pray and give thanks to God each day for the “B”s in my life.
C – Choice
Lastly, I remember the “C” of “Choice” in my life. I remember that I have a battle with Satan every day because he seeks to tempt me to sin with his wiles (Ephesians 6:11). Each day, I have a choice to make as to which set of “ABC” to adopt. I remember God’s warning in 1 Peter 5:8 that I have to be “sober-minded; be watchful” for my adversary, the devil who prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking to devour me. Thus, I continue to pray for strength each day to make the right choice so as to glorify God.
I have fallen prey to Satan’s devices. I did adopt a set of ABCs in my life which sinned against God. I thank God for His forgiveness of my sins (1 John 1:9) and His patience towards me as I continue to strive to live with the set of “ABC” which pleases Him. I rely on God’s help in my fight against Satan, as He promised in I Corinthians 10:13 “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it”