In our Asian society, being single seems to be stigmatised and considered undesirable. If you are single and supposedly of marriageable age, being bombarded with questions like “Are you attached?” or “When are you getting married?” seem to be unavoidable.
How should singles in a church setting deal with such well-meaning, yet often repeated queries? We are not taught how to deal with being single. We have probably heard countless lessons on the topic of marriage. On the other hand, being single is not something that is often discussed in the church. To a certain extent, one can’t help but wonder if marriage is a checkbox we ought to tick off in our “to-do list” on this earthly journey.
Perhaps you are single and have the desire to seek out a godly partner whom you can walk this spiritual journey with on this earth. While in pursuit of this, what should you do?
Well, the most important thing to do is to go to God in prayer. Pray to God for His guidance. Pray to God to show you the way. Cast your cares on Him.
Through prayers, God answers us in the following way – Maybe, Yes or No. Let us take time to know how we should react accordingly based on the respective possible answers.
If God Says “Yes!”
If the decision to become a Christian is the most important decision you should make in your life, then perhaps choosing your spouse would be the next most important one. After all, marriage is most certainly a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman.
Now that God has blessed you with someone to spend the rest of your life with, do remember to keep your marriage vows (1 Corinthians 7:10-16). When times get tough, remind yourself why you love your spouse and have decided to marry him or her in the first place. Or perhaps seek godly advice from your fellow brethren. Most importantly, continue to put God in the centre of your marriage.
To the husbands, continue to love their wives just as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-29). To the wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24).
If God Says “No” or “Maybe”
While it may seem like the wait for a prospective spouse is endless, do not let the anticipation be the central focus of your life. If God says no, remind yourself that marriage is not THE mission in our journey on this earth, but HEAVEN is. Being single is not a problem to be solved, neither is marriage a mission in life.
Instead, continue to keep your focus on God (1 Corinthians 7:34), on things above (Colossians 3:2). There is so much more you can do for God without the distraction of marriage. As long as you serve Him wholeheartedly, He will bless you in ways you cannot see.
It may seem discouraging at first to know that God has not answered your prayers, but always keep in mind that His ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9).
In His Time, According to His Will
All things will happen in His time and according to His will.
Whatever our desires may be, let us not forget to include God in every plan and decision we try to make. And always remember, whatever the outcome, that is the plan that God thinks is best for us. As Romans 8:28 reminds us, all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
Married or not, we are equally desirable in God’s eyes. Let us continue to put Him first in our lives and serve Him faithfully.