I am very happy to share about a practical topic and key stage in our lives. All of us have to go through this before we get married: courtship. Courtship can be broken down into two stages. First, the opportunity to date and know each other as a person in a social context. Second, discovering some similarities which prompt you to be in love and wish to be married for life, similarities that you are in love with her/him and want to be married for life. The second stage is when you are going to be serious in your relationship with each other. This is the time during courtship to prepare yourself to know and learn well about each other’s character, personality, emotional feelings, integrity and so forth.
Christian courtship is a Biblical subject. There are at least two valid reasons for classifying courtship as a subject for spiritual study.
Firstly, the New Testament teaches the Christian that existence envelopes the entire life of the Christian life. This spiritual reality is emphasised in many ways by Paul in Galatians 2:20,
“I have been crucified with Christ, and it is no longer I that live, but Christ liveth in me”.
Of Christians in general he said, “They that are of Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with the passions and the lusts thereof.” (Galatians 5:24).
In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Paul wrote, “ye, for ye, are not your own for ye were bought with a price, glorify God therefore in your body”.
In Colossians 3:17, Paul admonished, “Whatever ye do, in word or in deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus.”
For many generations, unfortunately, many Christians have divided all affairs of their lives into secular matters and spiritual matters. Many of these secular-spiritual divisions and classifications are artificial divisions based on human distinctions rather than divine. The whole life of a Christian is spiritual and everything he does which involves his conduct, attitude or relationship has spiritual significance.
Secondly, courtship can be considered a spiritual subject because it is based on ethical decisions and relationships. Courtship is in essence, vitally concerned with questions such as: How do I treat another person’s feelings, emotions and body? Can I use another person in any manner I wish to fulfil my selfish interests? What responsibility do I have to honesty, truthfulness, and fairness in my relationships with others? What responsibility do I have to exert spiritual influence in all my relationships with others? Where do I stand on questions concerning drugs, drinking, eroticism and sexual stimulation? What is my position regarding sexual relationships outside of marriage? Have we not realised all these questions share one thing in common - each is a question concerning ethical decisions and moral responsibility? This fact alone makes courtship a spiritual matter .This code of conduct of Christ was given by our Lord Jesus Himself. Jesus’s teachings and the Scriptures are guided by the inspiration of God (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Therefore, courtship involves ethical and moral decisions. As such, courtship is a subject of spiritual significance.
After knowing that courtship is a spiritual subject, I must pay attention to the principles of the Word of God to help me to find the right person to be my life partner in my marriage. We do not want to follow the modern and worldly philosophy of entering marriage with the attitude of, “I want to find an ideal”. “Then it becomes an ordeal”. “Then I want a new deal”. This what happens to some marriages both outside and inside of the church. It is my prayer for those who are dating or even in courtship to take this article today as a guide for marriage.