A few days ago, I chanced upon the verse in Psalm 119:107, “I am afflicted very much; Revive me, O LORD, according to Your word.” It felt like a perfect description of my present circumstances, and gave a hint to what could relieve me amid my distress — “Your word”.
I have lately begun to question: is God angry at me? Did I do something wrong? Why do bad things happen to good people? I find myself struggling with God:
“But, God… if only”
“But, God… couldn’t You have”
“But, God… why?”
Surely, it isn’t wrong to question God? I don’t have favourite verses, but I have favourite passages. And most of them record God’s conversations with man. Job contended with God (Job 40:2); Habakkuk questioned God (Hab 2:1); Asaph complained to God (Ps 73). I think it was admirable that these men were honest before God and yearned to hear an answer from Him, rather than assume anything of Him or refuse to receive any answers. Sometimes, God might even invite men to call to Him so He can answer them (Jeremiah 33:3)
On one occasion, I happened to read Habbakuk. It was unmeditated. But I am very glad I did, because it seemed the answers God wanted me to have were in there.
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Habbakuk was a prophet in Judah during the pre-exile times, who appeared especially troubled by the wickedness that was rampant in his country. He was exasperated at God’s silence (Hab 1:2). He thought God would mete out justice where the righteous prevail, the wicked perish, right? Instead, God told him He was raising a great enemy (the Chaldeans) to plunder Judah (Hab 1:6). That probably was the last thing Habbakuk had wished or expected to hear. Why would God employ a greater evil to extinguish the present wickedness? (Hab 1:13) I could almost hear Habbakuk wailing, “But, God…” (Hab 1:12)
Thereafter, God explained to Habbakuk the evils in Judah that needed punishment. It still might make no sense to Habbakuk. But God “is in His holy temple, Let all the earth keep silence before Him”. (Hab 2:20). God was trying to tell Habbakuk that He is the sovereign Judge who can do anything He wants to. His plans are beyond what we can ever comprehend. Who are we to question or argue?
Some day, the answers will be fully illuminated. But not today. And that didn't stop Habbakuk from praising God and expressing his faith. And the reason Habbakuk could rejoice was not that he got the answer he wanted, but because God answered him by showing His character — justice and mercy – which guaranteed that, ultimately, the righteous will triumph (Hab 3:19).
Though Habbakuk didn’t seem to understand it entirely, he accepted it. He seemed to gain a peaceful embrace of God’s sovereignty and justice. And suddenly, that meant although everything might not be the way he thought it should, God is in control. I marvel at his sudden acquiescence!
Habbakuk went from “But, God…” to “But God”.
That reminds me of Job. Job thought he suffered unduly for a righteous man like himself. He contended with God concerning his suffering (Job 40:2). It seemed to me that Job was asking “But, God… why do I have to suffer?” Sometimes, I realise that God challenges those who question Him. So God expounded at length about His sovereignty, His control over creation, in an attempt to address Job’s questions. When God finished His discourse, Job was forced to admit: But God can do everything, “no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You” (Job 42:2).
I wonder if poor Job ever found out why he was made to suffer. But I admire that, notwithstanding, Job could humbly repent in dust and ashes of his presumptuous doubts (Job 42:5). The change in Job was because he had witnessed God’s character (Job 42:4), and he could trust that the sovereign God had a purpose in all that happened.
Maybe God had wanted Job to realise he didn’t need an explanation in order to trust and praise God. Though the only answer God gave Job was a demonstration of God’s character (His power and sovereignty), that alone was enough to turn Job’s lamentation to praise.
Job went from “But, God…” to “But God”
Asaph too, seemed to lament, “But, God… why do the wicked prosper?” It was not until he went into the house of the Lord and knew the ways of God that Asaph could confidently praise God for His ultimate justice. “But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Ps 73:26). Similar to Habbakuk and Job, the answer Asaph received was the certainty of God’s character. And that was enough to make him rejoice in God, even though he might not have gotten the answers he wanted.
Asaph went from “But, God…” to “But God”
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God seemed to have indirectly answered my question, “But, God… why?” Whatever I learnt from Habbakuk, Job and Asaph seemed to be the very answer He wanted me to have. It occurred to me that none of these men really received a complete explanation they desired from God. But when they were faced with the only answer God provided — the certainty of His unchanging character and righteous attributes — that was all that was necessary. The explanations they yearned for? That no longer mattered.
Same for me. I realised I didn’t need any explanation. There are things I probably will not fully understand until I meet God in heaven. But even then, will I still ask God? Will it still matter enough to me to ask God? Probably not. The only answer I needed (and the only answer I was given), was a reminder of God’s character. Are my afflictions agonising? Are my troubles distressing? Of course! But God intended it for good (Gen 50:20); But God is in His holy temple (Hab 2:20); But God can do everything (Job 42:2); But God is the strength of my heart (Ps 73:26)
This time, I also went from “But, God…” to “But God”
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Do you begin to see, that a change in punctuation means a change in meaning?
“But, God…” is a protestation against my circumstance:
But, God.. how could You?
But, God… why?
But, God… must it be this way?
“But God” is a surrender to His attributes
But God is in His holy temple.
But God can do everything.
But God is the strength of my heart.
But God intended it for good.
Do you now see that a change in punctuation also means a change in attitude?
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Now every time I catch myself whining, “But, God…” I quickly change my punctuations. I am afflicted very much, But God revived me according to His word (Ps 119:107).